I Love You Jzeck Rouy (No Strikethroughs Needed)

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

A full-blown note to express how I feel about our baby Zk as I go back to the real world today which will leave me missing this little soul whom I spent--if not for the quick trips (that each minute felt an hour spent) to the grocery store--almost 100% of my 60-day maternity leave...

Zk, I will miss your thousand facial expressions from your default unamused emoji-perfect πŸ˜’ face to relatable poop-coming-soon face... transitioning to amazed-by-Earth-object expression, or giving me that what-are-you-doing-Mama face... and every sort of expression you make trying to work out this whole no-yaya thing especially that there has been nobody to accompany your Mama except for the occasional-to-the-rescue-Papa-Owen, taking his emergency leave just to calm you down--making him your first official superhero... πŸ˜…

Zk, I will miss your LOUD uhaaaa-uhaaaas (just please stop being sooooo kyut even with your vibrating mouth srsly calling for immediate attention), best aktor worthy subtle sobs--successfully tricking us each time just to pick you up from the crib, heartbreaking cry with real tears--leaving us with feelings of self-reproach...same as I will miss your beautiful smile--capturing our deepest soul, pogiboi smirks--giving us a glimpse of how you would grow up catching attention, those playtime moments of crackling laughter that are such out-of-this-world bliss... I will certainly miss all emotions you share with your Mama, acting as human as possible--showcasing so much personality in which I would insist to your Papa that you are a boss pretending to be a baby just like that one in the movie--stretching your way to toddler-hood as fast as possible (will you stay my baby for a loooong while please?). And with this new experience, I have fully equipped myself with bankable skill--a worthy addition to my resumΓ©--adept in conversing with another person who could perfectly articulate two or three ahhhs and ohhhs or a combo of those or making kyut sounds...assuming on my end that I totally understand what you are trying to communicate, pinging back ahhhs and ohhhs in a morse-code-way of response. πŸ˜‚

Zk, this has been the longest period in my life that I have been touched by another soul...so much...that the time spent felt really short even if I was with you working this mom-baby simulation round the clock, 24 hours a day.. 7 days a week...for the past 2 months... and while there were days when I would feel guilty being sick... not able to perfectly fulfill my job as a mother... that I would fall back...or cry hard...for feeling all sorts of pain and/or suffering illnesses from discomfort associated with breastfeeding...to new-parenthood-syndrome a.k.a. lack of sleep...or with all the Milo-energy draining out of me due to the overwhelming daily household tasks other than taking care of a newborn...know that, I would always choose going through all of that if it means spending more time with you...and on a sidenote, I wish Du30 had already approved the maternity leave extension... 😐

Zk, I have to report back for work so I would be able to secure your first shares on the stock market... for Papa and I see you becoming better and much smarter stock and forex trader than us... πŸ˜‰ But srsly, both Mama and Papa have greater responsibility of preparing a "bullish" future for you so please stay kyut and act the way you "babied" with me and spend those 13 hours each weekday with Mommy-la while I am away at work pumping milk in between. πŸ’»πŸΌ

Zk, we will make more meaningful and quality Mama-Baby bonding moments even if we cannot do it full 60-day straight anymore. I cannot wait seeing you grow up and more conscious each day. Your Papa and I love you so much and our world has since been more beautiful with you in it. πŸ’‘πŸ‘ΆπŸ’•

 P.S. (you may stop reading at this point...or NOT πŸ˜‚)

And though I mostly spend googling my actions as a mom, I basically trust my inner mother's instinct..it just comes out naturally..or by relying on a simple philosophy of asking--would it hurt Zk when you do that, then do not do that. πŸ˜ƒ Also, I constantly seek or consult from other mothers like from my mom and Owen's, my equally momshie friends and relatives. πŸ“’✒  

To all moms out there, "I get it now". It is a daunting task to be a full-time mom...but taking care of this baby boy is the most fulfilling job yet...and it brings so much wonder to look forward to the days that Owen and I get to be Zk's parents for the rest of our lives.  Thank you Lord for I do not know what I've done in the past to deserve such great blessing at this point in my life. I am surely loving this new role...a wife to Jowen and mother to Jzeck Rouy. Really. Blessed. πŸ‘©πŸ†πŸ”“


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