Present views on commitment (and these may change)

Thursday, September 22, 2011
I have been so into love movies recently that I realize I am filling myself with negativities about commitment and relationships. I become more idealistic and at the same time, unsure with how I would be dealing with future relationship.

To be totally honest, I think I would not really get married. I am so selfish that I would not even want to share myself with somebody else. I am not afraid I will get hurt because I have had enough pain. Even pain itself can't be measured just the fact that I am certain I got hurt before and it does not matter how painful it was because the word itself equates to "hurt". I don't have particular resentments if you think I do but maybe I am just being fair about telling what I really want, what I have always wanted. I want to fill myself with contentment that I know I could only have when I am with myself (maybe it includes having fun with friends and acquaintances, love and support from my family and so on).

It's just 4months and still counting but within that span of time, I learned to fully realize that I really could not see myself with someone else. And though, I feel like a lil bit pressured with Ma and Pa's nudging me about bf-meeting-them (God why did they not think about it before?), and so I am left with "not yet" answer. How long do I have to wait or do I even want to wait? Because I do not want anyone now and it would be forever.

Keeping exaggeration aside, I think "commitment" has just lost its one fanatic. I love my sister and my friends, most of all, my parents. Well, I am contented and glad enough that I still appreciate those happy couples (yet, they get tempted - human nature?). I guess it does not work on everyone.

Well as I have said, all these perceptions may change. :)


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