I Love You Jzeck Rouy (No Strikethroughs Needed)

Wednesday, January 3, 2018 0 comments

A full-blown note to express how I feel about our baby Zk as I go back to the real world today which will leave me missing this little soul whom I spent--if not for the quick trips (that each minute felt an hour spent) to the grocery store--almost 100% of my 60-day maternity leave...

Zk, I will miss your thousand facial expressions from your default unamused emoji-perfect πŸ˜’ face to relatable poop-coming-soon face... transitioning to amazed-by-Earth-object expression, or giving me that what-are-you-doing-Mama face... and every sort of expression you make trying to work out this whole no-yaya thing especially that there has been nobody to accompany your Mama except for the occasional-to-the-rescue-Papa-Owen, taking his emergency leave just to calm you down--making him your first official superhero... πŸ˜…

Zk, I will miss your LOUD uhaaaa-uhaaaas (just please stop being sooooo kyut even with your vibrating mouth srsly calling for immediate attention), best aktor worthy subtle sobs--successfully tricking us each time just to pick you up from the crib, heartbreaking cry with real tears--leaving us with feelings of self-reproach...same as I will miss your beautiful smile--capturing our deepest soul, pogiboi smirks--giving us a glimpse of how you would grow up catching attention, those playtime moments of crackling laughter that are such out-of-this-world bliss... I will certainly miss all emotions you share with your Mama, acting as human as possible--showcasing so much personality in which I would insist to your Papa that you are a boss pretending to be a baby just like that one in the movie--stretching your way to toddler-hood as fast as possible (will you stay my baby for a loooong while please?). And with this new experience, I have fully equipped myself with bankable skill--a worthy addition to my resumΓ©--adept in conversing with another person who could perfectly articulate two or three ahhhs and ohhhs or a combo of those or making kyut sounds...assuming on my end that I totally understand what you are trying to communicate, pinging back ahhhs and ohhhs in a morse-code-way of response. πŸ˜‚

Zk, this has been the longest period in my life that I have been touched by another soul...so much...that the time spent felt really short even if I was with you working this mom-baby simulation round the clock, 24 hours a day.. 7 days a week...for the past 2 months... and while there were days when I would feel guilty being sick... not able to perfectly fulfill my job as a mother... that I would fall back...or cry hard...for feeling all sorts of pain and/or suffering illnesses from discomfort associated with breastfeeding...to new-parenthood-syndrome a.k.a. lack of sleep...or with all the Milo-energy draining out of me due to the overwhelming daily household tasks other than taking care of a newborn...know that, I would always choose going through all of that if it means spending more time with you...and on a sidenote, I wish Du30 had already approved the maternity leave extension... 😐

Zk, I have to report back for work so I would be able to secure your first shares on the stock market... for Papa and I see you becoming better and much smarter stock and forex trader than us... πŸ˜‰ But srsly, both Mama and Papa have greater responsibility of preparing a "bullish" future for you so please stay kyut and act the way you "babied" with me and spend those 13 hours each weekday with Mommy-la while I am away at work pumping milk in between. πŸ’»πŸΌ

Zk, we will make more meaningful and quality Mama-Baby bonding moments even if we cannot do it full 60-day straight anymore. I cannot wait seeing you grow up and more conscious each day. Your Papa and I love you so much and our world has since been more beautiful with you in it. πŸ’‘πŸ‘ΆπŸ’•

 P.S. (you may stop reading at this point...or NOT πŸ˜‚)

And though I mostly spend googling my actions as a mom, I basically trust my inner mother's instinct..it just comes out naturally..or by relying on a simple philosophy of asking--would it hurt Zk when you do that, then do not do that. πŸ˜ƒ Also, I constantly seek or consult from other mothers like from my mom and Owen's, my equally momshie friends and relatives. πŸ“’✒  

To all moms out there, "I get it now". It is a daunting task to be a full-time mom...but taking care of this baby boy is the most fulfilling job yet...and it brings so much wonder to look forward to the days that Owen and I get to be Zk's parents for the rest of our lives.  Thank you Lord for I do not know what I've done in the past to deserve such great blessing at this point in my life. I am surely loving this new role...a wife to Jowen and mother to Jzeck Rouy. Really. Blessed. πŸ‘©πŸ†πŸ”“

GBC 1.0 Release Notes

Sunday, June 18, 2017
Along with the many effects of progesterone in my system including the maddening emotions and uncontrollably irking sobs, my thoughts are filled with multitude of universal force expressing how life-changing it is to marry somebody and carry a life within me beyond NASA’s exhilaration for Cassini’s Grand Finale or every trader’s valuing for the Elliott Wave Theory. I have been hoarding a good package of stories to share with you that I wish I had the time to sit down and tell this in person but my fingers love the seksi strokes of this keyboard that I may as well press the ones and zeroes here in a Google-owned intellectual asset with or without my consent my 10-year old blog.

2017 initiated a new loop of story for me to star in a complex refreshing role, featuring the fast-beating soul slowly and literally generating butterflies in my stomach, and an impulsive trader who practically makes it so effortless to become a husband to a progesterone-operated and new home buddy-wife a wife and mom-in-progress. My year---unlike most people would have, started with a plus one on my side and would definitely end with plus two. And I am extremely fortunate to go through this phase when I get to share all-day cable viewing of HBO Hits, Bloomberg, BBC Earth, NBA Premium and other non-local channels consciousness and time with Jowen and be truly in awe of the power of LIFE realizing its deepest meaning and purpose with our baby Owen on the way. For every heartbeat that we hear from this little soul equates to nothing from our previous experience---combined that we wish we possess a Doppler device at home just to verify our baby’s enthusiastic response to the waves each time this stabbing pain on my sides strikes. By the way, I had this pregnancy app---Baby Center, installed in my phone that I could actually read every bit from Week 1 to 40 if I am being anti-climactic to this whole series but I dared not to play the antagonist that effectively helps us track our baby’s development week by week, getting us well-informed and somewhat more responsible in all that we do throughout the entire 9-month 40-week journey. 

Much more to the excitement that we consistently feel for the October-due date is the fact that within and for the time I am going to spend with Jowen, our marriage presents an endless spectrum of knowing-each-other-better-or-worsefor gains and losses til margin closeout do us part that we look forward to the years of building the smallest unit in the society---home of traders Bustamante-Cuamag family. Unexpectedly, Jowen totally plays it kewl for the most part of our storyline especially when he unfortunately gets to live along with a progesterone-operated wife (intentionally, not strikethrough-ed this time). And in a timeline when he is further tasked to take over as the laundry boss, master of coins and bills, and all other complaint-worthy tasks household chores. Part of this well-planned commitment, we are domiciled some miles away from the Davao downtown area live in a house that we can ideally call our dream real home with all the responsibilities of independent living embedded in the process. For the past 5 months, we could confidently say that we have perfected our meals based on our taste buds and maintained good housekeeping based on our acceptable level of housekeeping criteria. In totality, we make it not so hard to stand on our feet and definitely, prepared to raise one maybe two with 4 or 5 year gap in between children soon.

But all these optimistic parts of our journey are not as true-to-life as it is without its beautiful adversary in the form of Trump-enunciated-huuuge fights and/or break-and-make-up moments, besides we are not some Westworld hosts designed to function in an immaculate manner. And a segment of the bad-story-arc compensates for the first-trimester effects including the fact that my pregnancy is not the “ideal” circumstance as most people would expect; heeding an advisory to take full bed rest---that kind of house arrest where you would literally draw the line between your room and the rest of the house just to stick to the OB’s rule; experienced the most uncomfortable nights, and; keeping count of the Rx paper for a few narcotic pregnancy drugs easing the effects of actually-not-uncommon pregnancy. Consequently, my first trimester tops the all-time-high for physical and emotional exhaustion---and it is with splendid victory to overcome such phase that I am presently gaining all those renewed energy back and garnering the happy pills that were taken from me during the 12-week period and I could finally go back to my walking streak of several strides-per-second speed. The whole experience had us revisiting our world domination strategy family plan , yet, made us realized how is it that we do not give the best titles to all Moms out there given the intricacies of pregnancy blessed we are to have our mothers carry us throughout. And with likewise gratitude to all fathers who make the “worse” part of for-better-or-worse vow seemingly not worse at all.

All these things form part of a bigger wedding picture that is hanging on our wall picture of being married to Jowen. For without him, I would either be notified with relentless margin calls in my forex account living in status quo, browsing through time-wasting stream of Facebook posts which we temporarily restrain ourselves from, to maintain stabilized mood and allocate more data on our trading activities or exhausting my mind with what-ifs for events with the slightest chance to even materialize in whatever realm I would be in.

Simply put, I have secured a lifetime purpose in this specific consciousness shared with Jowen. Great LOVE grows in us each day as we traverse the path to that moment when we could finally hold in our arms the LIFE we have been blessed of by God---our first baby Cuamag. And yes, we are beyond thrilled to figure out if we are having a boy or a girl. End of GBC 1.0 release notes

Father's Day. Camp Holiday. 170618

An Unfinished Narrative

Saturday, December 31, 2016 0 comments
It has been a tradition to restore my temporarily decommissioned blog write a long post detailing my whole year in few words hitting the minimum 1000-word count because Glayra everyone loves to know what it has been like to work without purpose live in her 27th year meddling with universe’s decision-making on Earth. 

To cut the story short To begin with, I started the year with an entirely familiar but at the same time, new experience having finally been in a relationship since love lost me to the loathe sideI can’t remember when.  It has been a year of putting new meaning to love---beyond its purpose, recognizing that respect, responsibility and maturity are bonded to this word to make it a lot more complex work---is the right word, I presumeTo those who have noticed the difference in time I spend with people and when I say people, I mean PEOPLE---you must not utter a word unless I tell you to do so they must have felt how obviously occupied I have been and I do not even want to explain further. 2016 has given me a rare opportunity to reevaluate everything I have believed in and sing “love is an open door~~~” realize that there is unbelievably beautiful comfort in sharing yourself to someone.

I am pretty sure I do not have to recount everything that has happened between me and Jowen, but in that case, you might want to follow me on IG. But of course, 2016 was a year that challenged my patience to the nth level at the workplace but with the signed confidentiality agreement on effect I shall not..disclose any more information. And for the second year in a row, I am certainly looking forward to a 2017 with fresh career outlook and increased salary, perhaps?.

Finally, Meanwhile, 2016 is a year that I finally

Legacy System

Friday, November 11, 2016 0 comments
Like in a software acquisition process, people tend to set standards for meeting the right one. We prepare our user requirements then match with specifications available in the market. But how do you make sure that at one meeting or two product demonstrations if what they are selling would deliver the results that correspond to your needs?

This may hold true when finding your partner. You set the expectations so high that when you meet that person who basically embodies all the requirements at one meeting or two long conversations, you eventually justify that you have finally found the right one.

But as you go along with the "implementation" process, you would realize patches, tweaks and necessary change management are all needed at once. When all "agreements" came to full effect, you would realize that the data you collected prior to product selection were not enough to complement with your present infrastructure, in this case, my mind... me... the person as who I am.

What was missing in the planning stage? Did I skip the part when self-evaluation is significantly necessitated? But four years were enough to settle that. "I love what I have become for I fought to become her" ---the quote that reflects every decision all these years.

How can one product erase all that? All the principles I obtained. All the courage I have learned to possess. What is so important with this product that I have to replace my infrastructure just to address the compatibility issues?

I can only attest that to change myself is to lose myself in the process. That infrastructure is hereby endorsed for decommissioning.

At the end, we upgrade ourselves for a product to functionally work with us. But I would surely miss my old infrastructure as I am now a "legacy system".

UNDO Button

Wednesday, November 9, 2016 0 comments
What life would I have lived if I hadn't felt responsible of fixing everything?
Why do I have to do all the work?
When will these negativities end?
Where do I place myself?
How do I make this work?
Can I press the UNDO button now?
Should I continue treading this path?

Love IPO

Saturday, September 3, 2016 0 comments
Invested emotions are volatile
As depicted well in a Bollinger
May pare down to the lower limit
Can go straight to the upper beat

Feelings at MACD signal-line
Fights fluctuate at selling point
Trade outstanding moment-shares
But candle stick draws the body red

Bearish pride plummets to all-time low
Bullish trust rocketed sky-high
Stock value raised by volumes of care
Beyond break-even over time is fair

Faith and loyalty exceeds open price
Uptrend yields to relationship goals
My love index will stay afloat
To buy time with you I wish to quote

Join East Camp

Wednesday, August 3, 2016 0 comments
Jail order
work empty
numb Ego
sell caution
one temper
Cut umpire
adjust mask
after game

Init 6

Monday, August 1, 2016 0 comments
When you first met me
I told you a story
Words of pure humility
I showed you my reality

I wonder what has changed
I have been just the same
It feels a little bit strange
I wish I am just the same

When I first met you
Intentions are pure and true
Thoughts have been revealed
To me those were entrusted

I wonder what has changed
You have been just the same
It feels a little bit strange
I wish you are just the same

Things may have changed
We have been just the same
Less we become strange
We will be just the same

An Achromatic World

Thursday, July 28, 2016 0 comments
See the vision through his eyes
Reality becomes subjective
Colors are unambiguous
Forms become asymmetrical

Elimate inconsistencies
I see black and white
Across the horizon
Vertical lines are drawn

There is no in-between
But gray beats the odd
An intermediary hue
To him, it is green

Grey is spelled out
New life begins with it
I have found my new shade
In achromatic world I live

Release Undo

Saturday, July 23, 2016 0 comments
Funny how decisions are made
And thoughts begin to fade
Self-fulfillment as hard as jade
These moments I would truly trade

Please show me the way out
Grab it without a doubt
Delist me from this bout
I look at you with a pout

These bridges I wish to burn
Approaching to a near u-turn
Patience has died so soon
Throw up to the sun and moon